{"id":1311073,"date":"2025-11-05T06:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-11-05T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wisconsinwatch.org\/?p=1311073"},"modified":"2025-11-24T14:21:12","modified_gmt":"2025-11-24T20:21:12","slug":"laurie-doxtator-wisconsin-green-bay-sobriety-sober-living-home-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wisconsinwatch.org\/2025\/11\/laurie-doxtator-wisconsin-green-bay-sobriety-sober-living-home-women\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018I came from nothing and built a community\u2019: After years of healing, woman takes next step in sobriety","gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"text"}]},"content":{"rendered":"Reading Time: <\/b><\/span> 8<\/span> minutes<\/span><\/span>\n

Laurie Doxtator starts each morning with affirmations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s OK to say no,\u201d she thinks to herself while breathing in and breathing out, slowly grounding herself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m proud of me waking up sober today.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s a good day to start a new day.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The exercise plays an important role in keeping Doxtator clean from the drugs and alcohol that long controlled her life. She has built the routine through hard work, perseverance and the support of people around her \u2014 helping her stay alive. All the while she practices what she preaches to others seeking recovery: \u201cDo this for you.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Doxtator, 61, grew up on the Oneida Reservation and spent time in California before returning to Wisconsin, enduring trauma along the way, including losing multiple family members. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Three years ago, Doxtator realized she\u2019d been using substances for 50 years, including drinking since age 8. \u201cI realized it ain\u2019t giving me nothing in life,\u201d Doxtator said. \u201cIt ain\u2019t gonna bring my children back, it ain\u2019t gonna bring my mom back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She moved into a 30-day rehabilitation program but knew she needed more structure and time to heal. That led her to Amanda\u2019s House<\/a>, a sober living home in Green Bay for women and their children that allows them to stay as long as they need.<\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Sunlight
The afternoon sun shines through a common room where a stained glass decoration hangs in the window Sept. 30, 2025, at Amanda\u2019s House in Green Bay, Wis.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Doxtator spent most mornings at Amanda\u2019s House in the craft room with her friend and fellow resident Ashley Bryan, carefully creating Diamond Dotz art pieces. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Doxtator saw many people come and go during more than three years at the home, and she\u2019s grateful to have felt their support. Bryan jokingly calls her \u201cthe OG\u201d \u2014 a nod to Doxtator\u2019s long tenure there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Others call her \u201cgrandma\u201d while asking how she\u2019s doing. Doxtator enjoys the nickname, which prompts her to wonder what life would have looked like as a grandmother had her late sons raised children.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\"A
Laurie Doxtator prepares lunch for herself Sept. 30, 2025, at Amanda\u2019s House in Green Bay, Wis.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\"Four
Laurie Doxator, a resident at Amanda\u2019s House, left, smiles as she listens to Alisha Ayrex, a recovery coach and peer support specialist, second from left, lead a recovery program meeting Feb. 16, 2025, in Green Bay, Wis.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\"Posters
Signs hang on the wall in a hallway Sept. 30, 2025, at the Recovery Nest in Green Bay, Wis. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\"Two
Laurie Doxtator, right, works on a Diamond Dotz art piece of Elvis Presley in the morning with her friend and fellow resident, Ashley Bryan, on Sept. 30, 2025, at Amanda\u2019s House in Green Bay, Wis.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n
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\"Two
Laurie Doxtator, right, beads a bracelet with Kristy King, a recovery coach, Sept. 30, 2025, at the Recovery Nest, part of the Oneida Comprehensive Health Division, in Green Bay, Wis. Doxtator, an Oneida Nation citizen, visits the Oneida Recovery Nest a few times a week to meet with her recovery coach and engage in its programming.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Jewelry on Doxtator\u2019s hands and the tattoos spanning her arms tell pieces of her life\u2019s story.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One ring belonged to her late mother, whose birth date is tattooed below a red rose on her upper right arm, which she calls her \u201cmemorial arm.\u201d Doxtator still deals with the grief from losing her parents and regrets that she hadn\u2019t sobered up when her mom was still living.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Another ring belonged to her older brother, Duane, who died this year on Mother\u2019s Day. Below the rose of their mother, the tattooed words ROCK & ROLL memorialize Duane\u2019s love of music.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

More scripted names and dates honor the children Doxtator lost \u2014 one in an accidental drowning and one to alcoholism. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

The turtle tattoos on Doxtator\u2019s arm nod to her Oneida Nation membership and her family\u2019s Turtle Clan history. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her newest tattoo, a hummingbird, represents the community she\u2019s found at the Recovery Nest, part of the Oneida Comprehensive Health Division, which offers holistic healing and growth for those seeking recovery. Six other women joined her in getting that tattoo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\"A
Laurie Doxtator, a resident at Amanda\u2019s House, walks around the home after picking up the mail Aug. 13, 2025, in Green Bay, Wis.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\"An
Laurie Doxtator, a resident at Amanda\u2019s House, poses for a portrait with her newest tattoo Aug. 13, 2025, in Green Bay, Wis. Doxtator and six other women living at Amanda\u2019s House got matching tattoos of the hummingbird design, which is based on the logo of the Recovery Nest. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Even in sobriety, Doxtator struggles with the weight of her past trauma. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She planned to die by suicide in July. But Bryan found out about it and intervened, prompting Amanda\u2019s House Executive Director Paula Jolly to send Doxtator to Iris Place, the National Alliance on Mental Illness Fox Valley\u2019s peer-run crisis center in Appleton, where she recovered. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI came out and they could tell the whole difference in me,\u201d Doxtator said. \u201cI needed that break.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Trauma that unfolds early in someone\u2019s life can affect them decades later \u2014 even when they don\u2019t vividly remember, Jolly explained, citing research by psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk.<\/a>  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Doxtator\u2019s visit to Iris Place reinforced the importance of daily routines and surrounding herself with supportive people.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She keeps a list of everybody in her life who might help her in different ways, organizing them by categories, such as \u201cemotional support.\u201d She keeps the numbers for a crisis center and her recovery coaches saved in her phone. At Bryan\u2019s suggestion, Doxtator downloaded Snapchat, where women from Amanda\u2019s House send funny selfies to each other. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When other Amanda\u2019s House residents leave for work, Doxtator spends time with her brother, Earl \u201cNuck\u201d Elm, or visits the Recovery Nest. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\"Two
Laurie Doxtator, a resident at Amanda\u2019s House, left, works on a Diamond Dotz art piece with her friend and fellow resident, Ashley Bryan, right, Aug. 13, 2025, in Green Bay, Wis.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\"A
Laurie Doxtator, a resident at Amanda\u2019s House, sits at a picnic table in the parking lot after picking up the mail Aug. 13, 2025, in Green Bay, Wis. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Doxtator spent much of last summer sewing a ribboned vest and beading a turtle pendant for this year\u2019s KUNHI-YO\u2019 \u201cI\u2019m Healthy\u201d conference, sponsored by Oneida Behavioral Health\u2019s Tribal Opioid Response Team. There, Doxtator was invited to walk in an August fashion show featuring people who attend the Recovery Nest. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ahead of the show, Doxtator was up at 4 a.m. due to her nerves. Bryan, who works as a hair stylist, was curling Doxtator\u2019s hair in the Amanda\u2019s House craft room. <\/p>\n\n\n

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\"A
Ashley Bryan, a resident at Amanda\u2019s House, left, curls Laurie Doxtator\u2019s hair before the KUNHI-YO\u2019 \u201cI\u2019m Healthy\u201d conference on Aug. 29, 2025, at the Oneida Hotel and Conference Center in Green Bay, Wis. Doxtator was invited to participate in the Oneida Recovery Nest\u2019s art and fashion show entirely made up of people in recovery who created their own clothes while attending activities and group sessions.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

\u201cOh, you look so pretty,\u201d Bryan exclaimed after finishing. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh no, Ashley no,\u201d Doxtator said apprehensively. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019re gonna be OK.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou sure?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou\u2019re brave. You\u2019ve done a lot harder things in your life. This is gonna be fun and you\u2019re gonna enjoy yourself,\u201d Bryan said before the pair hugged and said goodbye. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Surrounded by friends and family, Doxtator heard cheering, clapping and a whistle as she walked into the show. Wearing her handmade outfit and her biggest smile, she waved to the crowd. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stephanie Skenandore, Doxtator\u2019s lifelong friend and recovery coach, recorded a video on her phone from the side of the room after walking in the show herself. Skenandore, who has been in recovery for 33 years and shares the same recovery date with Doxtator, said she was proud of Doxtator for seeking her support when Duane died earlier this year. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

People in recovery often unhealthily dwell on their past mistakes \u2014 flaws that others can\u2019t see, Skenandore said, connecting that process to the fashion show. It\u2019s like focusing on a sewing imperfection that only the sewer will see.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Recovery takes practice and creativity, she added. \u201cThere is no one specific way, and there is no perfect way.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

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\"People
Laurie Doxtator and her brother Earl \u201cNuck\u201d Elm, (behind her) walk through the KUNHI-YO\u2019 \u201cI\u2019m Healthy\u201d conference on Aug. 29, 2025, at the Oneida Casino Hotel and Conference Center in Green Bay, Wis.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\"Close-up
Laurie Doxtator changes into her outfit during the KUNHI-YO\u2019 \u201cI\u2019m Healthy\u201d conference Aug. 29, 2025, at the Oneida Casino Hotel and Conference Center in Green Bay, Wis. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

When people like Doxtator first show up to Recovery Nest, Skenandore helps them set goals by asking them questions like, \u201cHow do you see a life looking into the future without the drugs and the alcohol? How do you want that to look for yourself?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She discourages people from viewing themselves as failures and helps them navigate life differently. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Skenandore said Doxtator\u2019s handmade vest and pendant illustrated her creativity. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

After the fashion show, event organizers played a prerecorded video in which Doxtator shared her life story. Doxtator watched at a conference room table with her brother. When Doxtator appeared on screen, she picked up a napkin to wipe away her tears. A woman clapped at the mention of Doxtator\u2019s years of sobriety before walking over to give her a hug.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI came from nothing and built a community,\u201d Doxtator said after the video ended. \u201cIt wasn\u2019t easy.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n

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\"People
Laurie Doxtator, left, smiles with her friend, Fairyal Carter, while waiting to walk the fashion show together during the KUNHI-YO\u2019 \u201cI\u2019m Healthy\u201d conference on Aug. 29, 2025, at the Oneida Casino Hotel and Conference Center in Green Bay, Wis. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Doxtator moved out of Amanda\u2019s House on Oct. 17. Nuck and her cousin helped take her boxes to a storage unit. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Doxtator\u2019s long hair was now cut shorter than it had ever been. \u201cI\u2019m going on a new journey out in the world, so I want to have a new style look,\u201d Doxtator said. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen you start looking at it from the time she came to the time now, she\u2019s grown so much,\u201d Jolly said. \u201cI don\u2019t want her to leave but it\u2019s time. We\u2019re technically holding her back. It\u2019s time for her to move on.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Doxtator said she\u2019s in awe of her own progress but knows that leaving won\u2019t be easy. The old forces of addiction lurk outside of the support of Amanda\u2019s House and will try to draw her back in. <\/p>\n\n\n

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\"Two
Laurie Doxtator, right, and her brother, Earl \u201cNuck\u201d Elm, move her belongings into a storage unit Oct. 9, 2025, in Green Bay, Wis. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n
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\"A
Laurie Doxtator takes her morning pills at Amanda\u2019s House on Oct. 9, 2025, in Green Bay, Wis. Doxtator said she\u2019s prescribed to take 14 pills in the morning and 16 at night for a range of ailments including sleep, anxiety and kidney health. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\"Sunlight
Morning light shines through Laurie Doxtator\u2019s room at Amanda\u2019s House as she moves her belongings out of the home Oct. 9, 2025, in Green Bay, Wis. <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

She said she\u2019s determined to avoid returning to drugs and alcohol \u2014 and becoming the \u201csame old Laurie: stealing, lying.\u201d  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIf I go back out, I know I\u2019m gonna die, there\u2019s no choice in the matter,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As she approached her back-to-back dates of her move and her three-year sobriety anniversary, Doxtator started researching Gamblers Anonymous meetings. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s hard for me right now, that\u2019s one of my downfalls right now, gambling,\u201d Doxtator said. \u201cI used to be real bad before, but I know that I can (get through) it again.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n

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\"A
Laurie Doxtator laughs with her recovery coaches while trying on her Yoda costume ahead of Halloween at the Oneida Recovery Nest on Oct. 9, 2025, in Green Bay, Wis. (Joe Timmerman \/ Wisconsin Watch) <\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

As her recovery progresses, Doxtator has grown more comfortable in sharing her story, with the hope of helping others, including during a recent Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. When a newcomer visited, \u201cwe told her to keep coming back,\u201d Doxtator said. \u201cIt works if you work it. We said we\u2019re proud of you for coming in.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jolly offered Doxtator a standing invitation to return to Amanda\u2019s House to share her story with the next group of residents.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In the meantime, saying goodbye was hard, Doxtator said. She has yet to unpack a pile of boxes at her brother\u2019s house, where she hasn\u2019t yet slept much. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There\u2019s so much to get used to. She knows it will take time. But she tells herself she\u2019ll succeed as long as she keeps working on herself, remembering that every day is a new day. <\/p>\n\n\n

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\"A
Laurie Doxtator poses for a portrait Sept. 30, 2025, at the Recovery Nest, part of the Oneida Comprehensive Health Division, in Green Bay, Wis. Doxtator, an Oneida Nation citizen, visits the Recovery Nest a few times a week to meet with her recovery coach and engage in its programming.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

Need help for yourself or a loved one? <\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you are looking for local information on substance use, call 211 or reach the Wisconsin Addiction Recovery Helpline at 833-944-4673. Additional information is available at 211\u2019s addiction helplife<\/a> or findtreatment.gov<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis: call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline<\/a> at 988 or contact a Wisconsin county crisis line<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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This story is part of <\/em>Public Square<\/em><\/a>, an occasional photography series highlighting how Wisconsin residents connect with their communities. To suggest someone in your community for us to feature, email Joe Timmerman at jtimmerman@wisconsinwatch.org<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n","protected":false,"gt_translate_keys":[{"key":"rendered","format":"html"}]},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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